Those who focus on blame when things go wrong believe that things go wrong because someone is lazy or incompetent. Thus, they make attributions about the internal characteristics and motivations of others. Their behaviors typically say, “The wicked should be punished,” and finger pointing and blame are a part of this punishment. They take the moral high ground, sitting as a prosecutor, judge, and jury and pronounce guilt and sentence. Often, when confronted with an issue or concern, blamers automatically re-blame others in order to distract or deflect attention from them. Fundamentally, this is a missed opportunity to demonstrate accountability. Leaders want others to be accountable in their organizations, yet they themselves may never demonstrate accountability.
Those who focus on blame when things go wrong believe that things go wrong because someone is lazy or incompetent. Thus, they make attributions about the internal characteristics and motivations of others. Their behaviors typically say, “The wicked should be punished,” and finger pointing and blame are a part of this punishment. They take the moral high ground, sitting as a prosecutor, judge, and jury and pronounce guilt and sentence. Often, when confronted with an issue or concern, blamers automatically re-blame others in order to distract or deflect attention from them. Fundamentally, this is a missed opportunity to demonstrate accountability. Leaders want others to be accountable in their organizations, yet they themselves may never demonstrate accountability. A Clean Up is the easiest way to demonstrate accountability to your team members because people don’t do what they are told; they do what they are shown. The most effective way to demonstrate that you are accountable is to practice your ability to “Clean Up” a situation. A Clean Up is a simple, sincere, straightforward statement of accountability. A Clean Up expresses not only regret of past behaviors but also a commitment that such behaviors do not recur.
Apology
An apology is an extraordinarily powerful way to reset a relationship. A Clean Up is a very simple form of apology. At some time, we all negatively impact somebody else. Even if you unintentionally impact someone, it is your responsibility to clean up the damage. It is in your best interest to do so because you value your business relationships and you want to maintain and sustain them in a manner that allows for optimum performance.
The first step in a Clean Up is to simply acknowledge that either you didn’t keep your word or that you were not considering the impact on the other party. Acknowledge the facts.
The second step is to apologize by saying, “I am sorry.” Those are the words. “I am sorry that I did that.” You must also apologize for the consequences of your action and the impact it had on the other person. If you didn’t keep your word or get the report to the other person on time, and that made them late on their report, which led to their distrusting you, it is important for you to take responsibility for everything. Also, apologize for creating any ill thoughts or feelings they might be having, and take responsibility for your behavior. It is crucial that making your apology is the only step attended to at this moment.
You should not be giving an explanation, but instead, should only say that you are sorry and that you apologize for the impact the event created for the other person. No excuses here. Typically, we think that a good excuse, somehow justifies our being out of integrity, and it does not.
The next step in a Clean Up is to state your commitment to keeping a situation like this from happening in the future. What is going to be the course of action to prevent it from happening again? If you develop a pattern of not being trustworthy, apologizing, and then not following through, you start to impact your relationships and others’ perceptions of you. It can take a long time to dig yourself out of this kind of hole.
One other aspect of Clean Up is that the other person’s acceptance of the apology is not obligatory. In other words, even if you make an apology, the other party doesn’t have to accept it. If after you apologize the other person still doesn’t trust you, it’s up to you to act in a way that rebuilds trust, until your trustworthy behavior normalizes the relationship. Occasionally, making some generous or extraordinary gesture is a useful part of the Clean Up process; it’s a symbolic action that says this relationship is important, and it can be an effective way to recreate the trust.
“Clean Up” Process
- Apologize
- Be Accountable for What You Are Cleaning Up
- Be Accountable for How it Impacted the Other Party
- Make a Commitment to Your Future Relationship and Future Actions
