A blind spot can affect your life without you even noticing. A blind spot refers to a pattern of behaving, thinking or feeling that is out of your awareness. A blind spot can have a negative influence on your life and can affect your relationships with the people close to you. If not corrected or noticed at the right time, a blind spot can hinder relationships or even damage a friendship.
A long time ago one of my consultants showed me a useful tool called the “Johari’s Window.” The window, a square with four quadrants, is a self-awareness tool. The first quadrant represents open area — the things you know about yourself and others know about you. The second quadrant represents your blind spots — things others know about you that you don’t know about yourself. The third section represents the hidden area — things you know about yourself that you have not disclosed to others. And the fourth quadrant represents the unknown area — things neither you nor others know about you.
There are times when I fail to consider that there are things others see in me, that I can’t see in myself. Sometimes these things are limiting characteristics. Blind spots may include things as simple as non-verbal characteristics, such as lack of eye contact, or more serious behaviors like being judgmental or offering a condescending look to go along with my comments.
Breaking the Cycle
The first step in ridding yourself of blind spots is to invite feedback. Your powers of self-perception only go so far. People around you notice things which you don’t and you might learn from their input. Offering feedback is risky to a relationship, and most team members would rather not attempt it. But your close colleagues aren’t doing you any favors by ignoring your less than pleasing characteristics. Most people ask “Do you have any feedback for me?” and the common response is “No”. The better way to ask for feedback is to say “What feedback do you have for me? This helps the individual provide you with something useful. When I only receive positive feedback, I often ask the person to give me feedback on what I was missing or what I may have done that was ineffective. This is an excellent way to make sure there are no issues being left unsaid.
To make sure you get feedback in the future, you want to say an immediate “Thank you”. Recognize the courage it took to for them to give you the feedback and consider it a sincere gift intended to help you grow. Make your thank you short, but something you can say sincerely, such as “You’ve really given me something to think about, thanks.” Never tell the other person why their feedback is wrong and inaccurate. Arguing, justifying your position or denial are all powerful negative emotions, making sure your blind spots will stay in place forever. Force yourself to listen and consider their perspectives, you may find behaviors and attitudes in need of correction.
Once a blind spot has been revealed, take action and change
Once you know about a pattern, use the awareness of the blind spot as a catalyst for new behaviors with your team.
- Be accountable about the pattern. Openly discuss the desired area for development. Ask for specific suggestions that can help ensure your improvement in targeted areas for change as well as general suggestions that can help you on your journey to become a more effective leader.
- Sincerely apologize for any mistakes that you may have made in the past and make a future promise to improve.
- Personally commit to making an effort in these areas you’re learning about. Make sure you are making a realistic commitment. Make a ‘good faith’ effort to do the best you can to improve.
- Ask for their continued support. Let them know that you plan to follow-up and get ongoing ideas and suggestions.
- Notice when you are aware of the old blind spot and acknowledge to yourself when you choose a new or different behavior.
It’s a challenge to be confronted with my limitations. But I’ve discovered feedback warranted or not can be a catalyst for change.
